Desperate housewife?

As I trudged back from the post office this morning, having posted cards and gifts to Australia, Africa, Belgium, the US, Germany and France I pondered about the role of husbands versus wives at Christmas.

As a stay at home mother AKA 'Housewife' - married to a very busy, stressed husband I obviously take on most of the domestic household duties as he is out there earning the bacon.

At Christmas this really comes into its own. As well as all the normal jobs one has to do like buying loo rolls, new toothbrushes, scraping dried cheerios off the floor, turning off taps around the house, scraping toothpaste off sinks, picking up clothes off the floor and examining to see if they can get away with not being washed for one more day, one also has all the preparations for the biggest and most expensive extravaganza of the year..

It got me thinking - should there be a balance of power shift at Christmas?

How much should a man really be expected to do when he is in the office until at least 8pm most nights and often on a plane and away over night. How is he supposed to fit in buying, writing and posting Christmas cards? Would they ever get there if he did? I think last Christmas's cards would just about be arriving now.. Would the kids get any presents? Would they have stockings? When is he supposed to have time to shop? I know my husband has bought my present because he told me and I think he bought it a few months ago in a moment of being terribly organised. But as for the girls, their stockings have obviously been bought by me as have presents for all his godchildren (and posted off around the country/world), his family and some of his friends.

There are a few jobs that I do leave to him. Buying the tree for example. That is a 'daddy' job and the girls love going off with him to get it. Washing up at Christmas is another, and making the gravy. Obviously carving too - I am rubbish at carving.

But as I slogged around Tesco's AGAIN this morning racking my brains for interesting things to cook for the family this weekend it did occur to me that it would be nice if he could occasionally cook or put on a load of washing, or hang up a load of washing, or even iron a shirt. But then I feel wracked with guilt that the poor guy is so blinking tired, that is totally unfair and selfish of me to even expect it.

Isn't it?

I have friends who do everything for their husbands, who by all accounts have never bathed their children or even changed a nappy. I have other friends who split everything bang down the middle, down to cooking, buying the kids clothes, hoovering.. I have other friends who leave all of their husband's side of the family for them to deal with - cards, presents etc. They only do their own. I find this quite odd and a little divisive. Isn't the point of being married/with someone that you take on them and their family? Don't they become your family too?

For the moment, sadly I feel that these jobs do fall down to me. But I am dreaming of a role reversal one day when I trot off to a very important meeting in a black cab, cappuccino in hand, shod in Louboutins and clad in Prada whilst Daddy licks the stamps and buys the loo rolls..

One day..