Sunday, 17 March 2013

My hotel.

I want to open a hotel.  It would actually be a cross between a hotel, clinic and spa.

Think One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest meets Babington House.

Not far from London, somewhere green and beautiful and remote.  You would check in and be shown to your room with a large comfortable bed with three gazillion threadcount egyptian cotton sheets, an en-suite bathroom containing a perfect bath with lots of lovely little pots of lotions and potions that are replenished daily and that you can take home with you when you leave.

There would be signs up saying "please drop your towels and laundry on the floor when finished" and someone would mysteriously whisk them away, wash them and return them when you weren't looking.

The bedside table would be weighed down with every current glossy magazine available all saying "Read me" (as well as a couple of newspapers - in case you were interested), an ipad and a large room service menu with anything you could possibly wish for to eat on it - all available 24/7 at the touch of a button.  The mini bar in the corner would hold Gin, Tonic, Champagne, Prosecco, Rose or Diet Coke all saying "Drink Me".. Or you could go to the bar downstairs where a range of delectable bar staff all looking like Jack Whitehall, would shake you the cocktail of your dreams.

Back in reception there are a range of treatments, therapies and courses on offer.  You can check in for any number of things - "sibling rivalry - a crash course", "the secondary school system - a survivor's guide" or "how to manage homework without shouting" or "looking after elderly parents and young children".   Or you can just head for the spa and have a facial, pedicure or attend all day long pilates classes.  Or you can head to the TV room and watch wall to wall Jeremy Kyle, Loose Women or box sets of your dreams, eating chocolate wearing your slippers.  Or you can lie in bed - all day - with your meals brought to you when you want them - by Jack Whitehall.

You come and go at your leisure.  You can be alone or you can meet other residents.  You can sleep as long as you want.  Everyone here shares one thing in common.  They are all mothers.  Tired, frazzled mothers in need of some time out.  The books never told you how knackering it was having kids.  Not just physically having them, but the responsibility of having them that never ever ends and from which there is never any escape.

And sometimes, that's all you want.  Just 24 hours escape.

At my hotel you could check in for two hours or two weeks - however long you want to escape for.  It doesn't matter, just as long as you get the escape that you need.  Just long enough to be able to leave the kids with husband, granny, nanny, friends while you get a much needed break from it all.

Why has no-one done this?

Anyone want to check in?


Muddling Along said...

When can I come and stay???

cheekybaby said...

Yes please......

nappy valley girl said...

I'd come...

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